Monday 12 December 2016

Romance is dead and gone.


The title sounds bleak. I sound like a heartless, single, man-hating woman.
I'm not though but if I was I would  have good reason to be.

If you want to know more of why I am a cynical single lady you can read all about it here.
Anyway here I am once again, back to talk about the dreaded app.

Tinder. Delete it. get rid of it. burn it. keep away from it. if you are newly single and want to have fun, then be my guest but do.not. I REPEAT, DO NOT go in there expecting to find the love of your life because you wont get out alive.

Anyway back to the title, romance; yes to me it is dead or it's actually lost on the men (and I use this term loosely) of tinder.

I'm not expecting to be showered in a thousand roses, or bloody flown to France.



All I am asking for is a simple conversation. I expect at the very least one or two questions before I'm bombarded with "sure I'll come over to your house".

Um no thank you Mr.Stranger my parents live there and even if they didn't you wouldn't be getting in.

So when my answer didn't turn out how he anticipated: UNMATCHED.
Yes you read that right. unmatched.
Am I insulted? No. Does it make me question my answer? Hell no.

But is this how every conversation is going to turn out, if I don't agree to you coming over to my house 5 messages in, are you going to un-match me off the bat.

How about having a real conversation and judge me off that instead? it's not that hard and I'm not looking to bloody marry someone off the app, but at the very least I expect a proper conversation for a few messages before you ultimately remind me that you are a creep only looking for the ride.

And yes I know people are on there looking for one thing, and one thing only but Christ maybe you put the smallest bit of effort in and you might get somewhere with anyone. Toolbag.

*que next creep*

"If I was a cat I would spend all my 9 lives with you"

Seems like a normal enough guy can excuse him for the cheesy opening line, so I hit him back with some absolute top quality banter and a GIF or two.

"Are you a tower because Eiffel for you"

Okay two cheesy lines I can forgive him for that, what you got next buddy.

"Have you ever played titanic?"

You mean jumped off a boat with thousands of other people drowning in the middle of the Atlantic um no mate.

"How about you be the iceberg and I go down"

Needless to say I didn't reply to that, instead I was curious to know had that line EVER worked on a girl to which he replied: "No but I feel like I have to keep trying"

what. is. wrong. with. lads. my. age.

If you want to put a face to the story you can follow him on Instagram here.

So I know what your thinking why Sinéad do you continue to torture yourself with use this useless app if all you get are guys looking for the ride?

Well for banter simply and to see what other stories I can get out of it. HA.

So any horror stories from your tinder experiences?


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